How Childfree and Childless Women Live Beyond Labels
In this series, Holistic Health Coach and HollyWell founder + CEO Holly Rapport tackles your most pressing questions—while candidly sharing her own journey through the career climb, burnout, love gained and lost, and coming back to her best self.
As a single, childfree woman, I relate deeply to the longing behind today’s question:
How do childfree and childless women (and those who feel in between) get past their labels and find fulfillment in who they are?
To share just a bit of my story…
I do not have children. And oftentimes, I feel like I'm in the middle between childfree and childless. Some days I feel “less than” without dependents. Other days, I’m so grateful to be free to do what I want, when I want. So it’s that liminal space that feels strange to be in sometimes, especially because no one really talks about it.
I’m childfree, not necessarily by choice, but simply because it wasn’t in the cards for me. I hadn’t met the right guy at the right time, and single motherhood wasn’t something I wanted to tackle without having my mom to help me. For years—I’m talking decades—that label of not having children (nor a husband) hurt my self-expression. It made me feel ostracized. And truthfully, I was lonely sometimes.
I didn’t understand how to get past that label and really love myself first. And I didn’t know how to find a community of women like me.
So I started one.
HollyWell helps all sorts of women—childless women, childfree by choice (and not-so-choice) women, and women ready for more—find real joy.
I get it—there’s a lot to unpack here. More than I can get into in one simple post. But if I may, I’d like to share three thoughts that can help heal the dull ache behind these weighty labels:
If you’re feeling the pressure to fit society’s unrealistic standards for women, first, know you’re not alone. I’m right there with you. And so is every HollyWell Woman who’s worked through my program.
Secondly, remember that your worth in this world is not determined by motherhood. You can allow yourself to feel the emotions of your experience. Whether that’s grief, anger, longing, or a mix of a million emotions you can’t even name. Then tell yourself, “I’m enough, just as I am.” Tell yourself again and again, until it really sinks deep. I’ll tell you too, if it helps. (Seriously, send me a message!)
And finally, find a community of women who get it. It’s so much easier to practice self-love and self-care when you have a group of women around you who pour genuine love and care into you. For me, my life changed drastically (and for the better) when I started intentionally surrounding myself with other single, childfree (or childless) women.
When you’re ready to rip off society’s label, I have a new one for you to try on: Wonder Woman.
I’ve always loved Wonder Woman. In fact, Lynda Carter (the original Wonder Woman) is my laptop screen saver—a daily reminder of the superpowers within every single one of us incredible women.
So, next time that voice mouths off in your head, telling you you’re not enough, remind it of who you really are: A powerful, capable, resilient, lovable Wonder Woman. That’s how you live beyond your label.
Have a burning question for me? Send me a message on LinkedIn, or at holly@hollywell.community.
I look forward to connecting with you!