I didn’t have a baby. I’ve never been pregnant, never tried. So, you could call me childfree. Or childless, depending on your personal definitions. I define childfree as a woman who does not want to bear children. She made that choice for herself and her body. Childless is a woman who wanted children but could not, for whatever reason, such as infertility, her husband’s sperm, no partner, or IVF didn’t work.

It’s so interesting how those two words feel different. The energy isn’t the same when you say them. Childless feels ‘less than’—I do not have what other women have, and I’m less than because of it; I’m less of a woman because I couldn’t give birth even though I tried. It feels negative and sad. It also feels ostracizing and lonely. Childfree feels energetic and positive. Like having the freedom to do whatever, whenever. It doesn’t feel constrained— you get to follow your path without compromising. Childfree allows for more sleep, not arguing over the TV remote, traveling to your heart’s desire. Or just staying in bed all day reading!